Something to Talk About

Last night was the last prenatal yoga class for this series. I was kind of bummed knowing that I won’t have class again until May (can’t wait!). This time we spent 95% of the class just talking. We had a smaller group this time and it was so great to just talk. Hot Topic: Postpartum.

Everyone talks about preparing for labor and birth; the things to expect and think about when getting ready for the baby but not so much what happens after. We talked about everything from Sizt baths to sex and birth control. This is the best thing about being in a room of women who are all going through the same thing. With the exception of our instructor and two other women, all of us are going to be first time moms. As we went around the circle, we all seemed to be concerned or thinking about the same things:

1. What do we do when they just hand us our baby and say ok, go home now? What if we’re lonely or breastfeeding is really hard?

2. How do we meet other people that are at this same stage in life? Most of us are the only one of our friends that is having kids right now.

3. How do we set boundaries for our families? Who do we want in the delivery room? Who is coming to visit and when? When people do come, where will they stay?

4. How long will it take for us to heal, get our bodies back, stop leaking fluids, etc.?

Yep, the good stuff right? It was nice to be able to express our fears, thoughts and anxieties. As our questions about our bodies and the physical aspects of postpartum were being answered, I realized that I was less worried about the physical than I am about the mental aspects and making our new family’s needs and wants stated without hurting anyone’s feelings.

We had a lengthy talk about setting boundaries with families. The first boundary to set, who gets to be in the delivery room. Josh and I discussed this and decided it’s going to just be us, our midwife and nurse and I’ve made it clear that is our wish. 

What about visitors?  Everyone wants to come meet the new baby of course, but when is the best time? The second timers said that it was crucial for their first few weeks to be just their husband, themselves and their baby. It was time for them to bond as a family and start figuring out their crazy new life. Makes sense to me, I suppose I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I had thought more about how tired we’ll be and wanting help. But now I’m thinking, maybe I do want that first week or two, while Josh has paternity leave to be just the three us. Give us time before we start having friends and family come. I know it will be hard because everyone is so excited about Peanut, but I think that we may need to put our foot down. Still pondering this one for the moment. 

The other thing I’m starting to think about is planning activities for myself and Peanut during my leave. Our hospital offers tons of free mommy and me social meet-ups. I definitely want to take advantage of that. I think Josh and I are also going to have to talk about scheduling ‘me’ time. So that I can have a little bit of time to focus on myself. I am really afraid that I’ll have postpartum depression and for me, exercise and socializing are two things that always brighten my mood.

Yep, there is more to having a baby, than actually having a baby. So many things to think about in the next few months.

One thought on “Something to Talk About

  1. I am so with you on the boundaries. I’ve been very clear with my husband that I don’t want millions of people around before and after the birth. No one but us and medical staff in the delivery room, no one for an hour after the birth and no one but immediate family at the hospital. I need to work on a schedule for the house, though – I so didn’t think of that!

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