The Do’s and Don’ts of Talking to a Pregnant Woman

I know I shouldn’t be, because I was warned, but I am shocked at the number of people that lack common sense. The comments, questions, and uninvited belly touches amaze me. I don’t know if I’m some abnormal, freak of nature who grew up being taught manners, but wow.  I do have to say, for every person that makes an insensitive comment, there are a handful more that are wonderful and complimentary and sweet. Of course it’s the negative comments that stick (at least with me) the longest.

As the day draws nearer I’m finding myself having a harder time not making rude comments right back. I do my best to sensor myself, but some day it’s really difficult.  I’m usually a very nice, polite person.  For those people that seem to be confused about what is ok to say and what is best to be avoided unless you want a hormonal, raging, crying mess on your hands, here’s a quick list.

Do:

  • Tell her she is glowing.
  • Ask her about something other than pregnancy and baby.
  • Reassure her that she will be a great mom.
  • Tell her that even though she’ll be tired, every moment with that sweet baby is worth it.
  • Tell her your positive labor and delivery stories.
  • Give advice when asked.
  • Ask before touching her belly.

Don’t:

  • Tell her that her face, arm, legs, etc. look puffy.
  • Scoff or tell her she’s crazy when she says her goal is a natural, unmedicated birth then launch into horrid birth stories and the joys of an epidural.
  • Say, “Oh you’re tired now, just wait.” We know babies wake in the middle of the night.  Since we’re up 5 times a night anyway, it’s not going to be a super huge leap to make.
  • Say “Wow, you have X weeks left! I would have thought you were due next week.”
  • Comment on how she should be home resting instead of getting some exercise.
  • Give unsolicited advice or opinions. What’s right for you doesn’t mean its right for everyone.
  • Touch her belly without permission.
  • Say “You’re body will never be the same.”
  • Say “When I was pregnant I only gained 10lbs.” Ok well good for you. My body needs to gain more than that.

Do you have anything else to add to either list?

P.S. After a fantastic nap last night I had the best workout I’ve had in a long time.  30 minutes of weights, 65 mins on the elliptical and 25 mins walking on the dreadmill. Legs are now feeling a bit sore.

3 thoughts on “The Do’s and Don’ts of Talking to a Pregnant Woman

  1. I can’t even tell you how sick I am of hearing the “you’re tired now…” part. WE KNOW WE WON’T SLEEP AS MUCH. I’d much rather hear about what is so great about being a parent and how wonderful it is than the negative . I hope I don’t do that to women after this.

    And I hear you on the all-natural thing, too. I know it will hurt, thanks.

  2. She may sleep all night early on and you will get plenty of sleep. It is all un-predictable. You look amazing, you and the baby are healthy and you have solid plan….that’s all that matters.

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