A week, that’s all I have left of maternity leave. Next Friday will be my first day back in the office. Josh is going to take the day off to be at home with Ella so I don’t have to go back to work and take her to daycare on the same day. I’m freaking out.
I’m not freaking out like I’m going crazy or anything, but it’s stirring up all sorts of anxiety. When I’m up with her at night I’m worried trying to figure out when in the morning I’ll get ready for work and leave. Do I shower after her 4 am feeding, pump before work, get all the stuff she’ll need for daycare ready and leave that bottle for Josh to give her in the morning before he takes her to daycare? Do I want to wait so that I can breastfeed her before I go to work? If I do that then I’ll be coming home later, what’s better for her? Me leaving earlier and coming home earlier or the opposite.
Then there is daycare. We picked a center that Josh’s coworkers kids go to and has the lowest baby to teacher ratio of any place in the city. They are also CPR certified and have a nurse practitioner. I know they are absolutely capable and she’ll be well taken care of, but what if she needs a little extra cuddling before her nap? Will someone do that or are they going to let her cry? How much milk do I need to send with her? What milestones will I miss?
I know that moms have been going back to work forever and it was my decision not to be a stay-at-home mom, but I never thought that I would be struggling like this. I’m sure it will be fine once we get into a routine but for now eek. I’m just going to miss my baby.
Any advice for going back to work and easing my anxiety?