Going through pregnancy I felt really good about myself for the most part. I was active and exercised up until two days before Ella was born. I ate pretty well with only
ocassional once a day sweet treats. I gained the recommended amount of weight and figured that since I was so active that I’d have no problem getting back to my old shape and fitness level.
I’m not sure if I was overconfident or just delusional because here I am 9.5 weeks out and still about 8 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, 12 lbs from my goal weight and jiggly all over the place. I dropped the inital 20 so fast I was like, yeah! I’ll be back in my normal clothes before I go to work no problem. Um, not so much. It’s been six years since the last time I had weight to lose. I went from my heaviest ever (nonpregnant) at 149lbs:
I looked great but I was not happy. I was restricting my eat to sometimes only 1000 calories a day and exercising for at least 2 hours every day. I will not do that to myself again. I can’t.
I can get into some of my old clothes but I’m seriously starting to worry that I’ll never fit into my favorite jeans again. I keep being told I just had a baby two months ago, but will that still be an excuse when I just had a baby six months ago? I’m way harder on myself that anyone else is.
We bought a treadmill this weekend from Alan and Fiona, my former bosses and surrogate family during college, which is awesome! I’ve had two very very slow runs on it. Slow runs are better than no runs. Hopefully when I find my groove with this whole work, baby, exercise thing the weight will just drop off.
Until then I’m trying really hard to keep reminding myself that my body is powerful, delivered a healthy baby and still needs to be fueled in order to keep my baby and myself healthy.