Balance

Where are the days going? I just realized it’s been almost a week since my last post. There are not enough hours in the day anymore.

For the past week I’ve been busy with work, family and trying to keep my head above water. Just when I felt like I had really started to figure out my new balancing act as a wife, mom, friend, career woman, oh and an individual who needs some ‘me’ time, I have one of those weeks. Being a working mom is hard. It’s more difficult than I thought it’d be.

Even with Ella sleeping more, there just doesn’t seem to be time for everything. If one thing is going well, another is suffering. For instance last week I was home with sick Ella. I was working, but not at my office, spending time with Ella but she didn’t have my full attention because I was working nor did my work have my full attention because I was taking care of Ella.

It’s not just the working aspect that I’m struggling with lately. I’ve been a bad friend. Cancelling plans, with good reason (sick baby), or just not making them. The weekends come and as much as I want to see the girls, that’s the time I get to soak up QT with Ella and Josh. It’s also the only time I have to catch up on some sleep. So everything else falls by the wayside.

Last night I got home from work just in time to see Ella before she went to bed. I was upstairs nursing her when I realized I hadn’t even kissed Josh hello. Wife fail. We need a date night. I need some time with my husband that doesn’t involve talking about all things Ella, work or how exhausted we are. Time for us to remember that before we were mommy and daddy, we were Jess and Josh who had adventures and lots of fun together. We haven’t had a date night since our anniversary…in October!

We have to find a sitter and someone who we’re not going to be worried will do something crazy like shake Ella is she wakes up screaming and is ok with changing a poop covered baby in the event of a poopsplosion. Friends have offered by I feel guilty actually asking them to babysit for us. I just need someone to say, leave the house, you’re going on a date night, Ella will be fine with me.

How do you other working moms handle all of this? It’s like I’m a juggler but I can’t keep all my balls from falling.

5 thoughts on “Balance

  1. I’m right with you! I agree something is always falling by the wayside – adult time with my husband, family plans, time with my son after work, running, work… It’s a constant struggle. My husband and I haven’t been out without our son since before he was born… in MARCH! It’s not been a big problem – we both agree that we don’t like leaving him when we already spend huge chunks of our time working. But we need a date without him. I’m not the type that can accept someone just taking him and telling us to go. I’m far too much of a control freak. No magic solution or answers, but I know what it’s like.

  2. If it’s any consolation, you are not alone. I feel like I’m failing at most things. I still have 5 pounds to lose; when Miles is asleep, I get so caught up with my own things that I forget Mark is right next to me; and lord help me, I cannot get Miles to sleep through the night and he wants nothing to do with solids. I spend my days in a perpetual cycle of exhaustion and frustration.

    So … I haven’t helped you at all. BUT, I encourage you to take a lunch break, get a pedicure and a latte.

  3. As your mom (and Tom, Riley and Emma’s too) I can assure you that you will never be perfect at all parts of your life at the same time! It is not humanly possible. That is why it is called balance. It is actually like a teeter-totter. When one thing is up the other is down. It is okay. That is the way it should be. The trick is being comfortable with that and accepting it. I am still working on that and your little sister is nearly 14! Relish the moments you and Josh have alone, do not EVER feel guilty for taking a nap, and friends understand if you have to re-arrange things. If they don’t, they are not real friends. I think you have done an amazing job of getting out with friends or having them over. Allow yourself at least the first year to settle in!!
    Not too many women look as good as you do with such a young baby and some mom’s with 7 month old(almost) babies are still wearing sweatpants/pajamas all day and not even getting out of the house! You have already been on business trips, vacations etc and handled it all beautifully.
    I am hopeful we will come to visit over Riley’s Spring break while Emma is in NY and we can take Ella over night or something. We will make sure you get a date night. Emma can also come stay with you this summer to give you a break.

    You are amazing! Mom

  4. all of this is so normal! i definitely have the same feelings. just know that you are doing an amazing job and ella is lucky to have such an awesome mom. i’ve been told that things get better. i hope you guys find a way to make the date night happen soon – good luck!

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