Motherhood

Today is a day celebrating mothers; our mothers, new moms, expecting moms, stepmoms, foster moms, and grandmothers. Today and every day they deserve recognition for the amazing things they do every single day. This year I have a new found appreciation for the moms in my life. A type of appreciation that comes only after you become a mother yourself.

I’ve been a mom for just over 10 months, 315 days to be exact. In these past several months I’ve experienced love that I never thought possible. I’ve also experienced mourning the loss of my former life, frustration, exhaustion, sadness and joy. Being a mother is hard. Rewarding, but hard. There are days that I feel like super woman and days that I feel like I’m failing miserably. Days when I think Ella doesn’t even like me and days that I am the only person she wants to be with (those are my favorite). Days that seem like they are a week long and weeks that seem like they are a day long. I’ve been pooped on, peed on and thrown up on. I’ve given a million hugs and kisses yet it always seems like Ella needs just one more.

The moment Ella was born, everything changed. When she was born, so was my life as a mother. Suddenly there was this tiny person in my arms that I knew I would lay my life down for. I would love, nourish and protect her.

It was a love unlike any other I’d ever experienced. It was overwhelming and terrifying.

From that day I’ve done the best I can to help Ella grow, develop and learn. I stopped missing my old life and embraced my new life. My new life that is full of gummy smiles, diapers, a messy house, mystery stains on my clothes, middle of the night nursing sessions and more love than I’ve ever known. A love that is not only for Ella but for Josh, my husband, the father of my daughter and the first love of my life.

I am truly blessed to have a beautiful, healthy daughter and such an amazing husband.

I’ve grown into a new person. A better person. I’m getting closer to being the person I want to be. Someone that Ella and our future children can look up to.

So thank you to my mom, my stepmom, my grandmothers, and my mother-in-law. Thank you for being the amazing women that you are. Thank you for the love you’ve given me, lessons you’ve taught me, examples you’ve set, and personal sacrifices you’ve made to ensure my health and happiness. Thank you for sleepless nights, early mornings, good times and the bad. Thank you for being my rock.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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