Feeling Unprepared

I’m feeling unprepared for the week ahead. Tomorrow afternoon I am leaving for my longest business trip since Ella was born. I’m heading to Las Vegas for six days for our biggest trade show of the year. It was this same show last year that I left Ella for the first time to manage.

You would think a year later I wouldn’t be struggling with leaving, but here I am, freaking out. Six days were a long time to be away from Josh and home before Ella, now it seems like an eternity. Aside from quick trips over the past few months, I haven’t been away from more than two nights since I was in Boston, nine months ago.

I think Ella must sense that I’m going away because she is being extra clingy and has even been nice enough to want to hang out with only me in the middle of the night. I hope that after the first night I’m away (it’s always the worst), she’ll be a good sleeper for Josh. Six bedtimes without mommy and her milk should be interesting. At least there is Skype so she can see me and I can say goodnight just like I do when we’re at home.

Leaving Ella isn’t the only thing I’m feeling unprepared for. I’m also running the Las Vegas Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon on Sunday. I had the best intentions of sticking to the training plan I created for myself. I really did. Then life happened. Work got insanely busy, Ella got sick, I got sick. I still got in my long runs, but my speed work went straight down the tubes. It’s not necessarily the distance I’m uneasy about since I ran 13 miles a week ago, it’s my pace I’m unsure of. I’m still planning on this being a fun run, but it’s the last distance race of the season for me and it would be great to go out with a PR.

Surprisingly the trade show that I’ve been planning for months now is the only thing I’m not stressed about. We’re going to have a beautiful new booth and hopefully a great turnout. I’m going to be super busy so the days should fly right by. When I get home it will only be 15 days until we have 12 glorious days of vacation as a family. Cannot wait!

I know Ella will be fine. Josh will be fine. I’m sure they will have a lot of fun having father-daughter time. The race will go how it is supposed to go. I just need to relax and let go. On the bright side of things, I get to eat great food and get hours of uninterrupted sleep. I may even get to work out before 8pm.

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